Paradise
by Ko-chan to Ya-chan
Summary: I don’t remember exactly when it happened. The depression. Either way, I know, little by little, I’m slowly slipping away into the darkness...


Konnichiwa minna! This is actually a surprise monologue, since I thought of it while looking for the perfect Shadow song. Surprisingly enough, this fic is in none other than Amy Rose's P.O.V. That's right- ME writing about AMY. What is the world coming to? First Shinji (friend, not the one from EVA) cussing, and now this... opens up a mysterious door-hatch that wasn't there a second ago and shudders as she sees little demons playing ice-hockey over a pool of frozen lava Yep- Hell's frozen over... :P Anyhoo, since it's an angsty story, I guess it's okay... Enjoy! 

Ko-chan

Disclaimer: I TOLD YOU- I DUN OWN 'EM! STOP BUGGING ME ALREADY! (Sonic-tachi Sega. 'Paradise' Vanessa Carlton

Dedication: This is for... whoever. Anyone who's been through something similar, I guess… shrugs I've only touched on this feeling a few times and never really went any deeper…

Directions: Insert the lyrics to "Paradise" by Vanessa Carlton.

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Paradise

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-insert 1st stanza-

* * *

I don't remember exactly when it happened. The depression. Maybe it was when I noticed how he seemed to dread the time we spent together- even though the others were there too. Or perhaps it was when I knew in my heart that he could never love me the way I loved him. Or maybe it was that fateful day when he'd finally told me face to face. He only saw me as a friend, but I was pushing the limit on even that with my attempts to charm him. 

Either way, I know, little by little, I'm slowly slipping away into the darkness. I'd never let the others know; hiding behind a mask of lies that fools them completely. But gradually, that will fail too. I know it will. Still, it's the only option I have right now. I don't know any other way I can still stay with them. With him... So I'll hide, and embrace the web of lies I've woven. Losing myself in false paradise.

* * *

-insert 2nd and 3rd stanzas-

* * *

I know they know now. I let the mask falter, and they noticed. They're all worried about me now. Even Sonikku. Could it be that he actually... cares? Or are the lies clouding my judgement? Fantasy mixing with reality until I can't tell the difference... Is that it? I hope not...

But as long as I have that one shred of hope, I think I can survive the harsh reality. No matter if it's real, or just a passing thread of fantasy. It's all I need right now... And as the others cast me worried glances, I put on my fake smile.

"I'm fine. Really. There's no need to worry..." I tell them, and they simply accept that.

* * *

-insert 4th stanza-

* * *

One more day couldn't hurt, could it? I don't know if I could stand to go back to the darkness... It scares me. Strange... It never used to... Could it be I'm getting better? Am I finally a step closer to being rid of this darkness once and for all? Am I coming back to the light?

Little do I know, I sink deeper into the blanket of fantasy that covers me. And snuggle into the charcoal black pillow of depression... An empty glass lies next to me, and a 12 oz. plastic bottle full of the same fluid that the cup had once contained. The bottle on which label read, in faded gold, 'LIES'.

* * *

-insert 5th stanza-

* * *

I can't stand this anymore. I want out. But the simple routine of day-to-day lies is left unbroken, and no matter how hard I try, I can't drop my facade. I'm an empty husk, going through the motions of living. In control no longer…a prisoner of my own mind. But how could this have happened? How could I have let it go this far?

* * *

-insert 6th stanza-

* * *

The bottle is left spilled on the gray floor, the glass lies shattered next to it. The pillow has been shredded, it's raven feathers strewn about the windowless room. The blankets have been torn and ripped, their pieces lay forgotten on the floor. A girl sits crying in the middle, hugging her knees to herself as she stares at the room's t.v. set. There, she sees a girl much like herself, laughing with her friends. The perfect life. Paradise...

* * *

-insert 7th stanza-

* * *

The bottle restored itself, fading into nothing and reappearing on the nightstand. The shattered glass slowly glowed a dark light, and the pieces came together to form a solid object once more. The blankets renewed themselves, and now sat folded on the bed's blood-red sheets. The feathers molded and entwined to become a red-eyed bird, a raven, which flew up into the stormy sky of the ceiling-less room. It drops a single feather, which shifts into a charcoal black pillow, lying at the head of the bed. The girl opens the bottle of lies, pouring the liquid into the wine glass. She sips it, savoring the taste, and sets it back down on the nightstand. She falls back into the pillow, pulling the blankets over her.

* * *

-insert 8th stanza-

* * *

As the girl slips into her dreams and fantasies, the image of a girl much like her flickers across the t.v. screen. She laughs with her friends and smiles at her beloved.

A ring is on her finger, she's ready to be wed. The girl is getting married, too bad it's all in her head...

* * *

Owari

* * *

Holy crap- that was dark! I loved the way I made all her emotions turn into solid things though... Especially the thing with the raven... That was cool... Anyhoo, I hope you guys liked it, since I had fun writing the description an' stuff... Well, that's one more song by Vanessa Carlton I've used now... stares at the clock on her computer HOLY SHITTAKE MUSHROOMS! I wrote that whole thing in only 1 hour 44 minutes! Woah... Jus' goes to show you what I can do when inspiration strikes me, huh...? ;

Anyways, back to searching for the perfect Shadow song... Or maybe I'll just update one of my other fics… ; shakes her head Well, enough with my inane philosophical ranting. Get to work and review you lazy person! GO GO GO:P

Ko-chan


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